“Look what you’ve done to me…turned me into a crippling monster for love, your love. I needed nor wanted nothing but here is a desire hard to ignore. Continuously shamed I will call out this delusion, fix this wrong way of feeling so I may overcome you, deliciously dominating you.”
“I must find what ties me here and sever it”
– April Rose
“Don’t mistake my calmness in this chaotic world for not caring. I am a patient woman Mr. Reed.” She said looking over at me from the cup of tea she just fixed herself and sat in the armchair across from me.
“I observe.” She smiled. “I wait till I have the capability to look in the hearts of men before me. And after looking in, in most cases I pity man. For I see their suffering and most of the time it’s self inflicted. Man has enslaved themselves.
She paused briefly to sip her tea. Crossing her legs I couldn’t help notice the slit exposing her toned and slender legs.
“But I am a woman who doesn’t believe in the chains of my emotions nor can they tie me down. Some people claim I am without emotion but that’s simply not true. I simply don’t react because I know by the time I react the situation has changed. I don’t allow my minds predicaments to faultier my judgment.”
She looked at me to see if I was following then continued.
“I am intense in how I love whole heartedly, but not often for I found I am sometimes vulnerable. But my love for others is strong, so much so I believe I have already loved and been loved than most soul’s that have crossed and perished from this world. Most leave never knowing what it is to love or be loved.
Biting her bottom lip she became deep in thought and I saw the wheels in her mind’s eye questioning the vulnerability she feels now with me. She snapped back quickly realizing I had caught her in thought, a beautiful thing I must say.
“I don’t explain myself to many men Mr. Reed. My thoughts are constantly changing. I am constantly trying to find a new and better way of thinking, because there is always another way.” Her eyes, ever as bright as the fighting spirit she now displayed before me. The warrior of compassion and truth.
“So that’s what you are.” I whispered in awe.
“They made her a grave too cold and damp. For a soul so warm and true.”
“It’ll kill you if I make you stay, but you’ll kill me if you go. But what good are you to me dead?”
“I just want someone to listen to my insane thoughts and tell me their just as insane.” – April Rose
“Silly little girl, you actually thought I loved you.”
He said it right to my face. I felt nothing. I looked up at him and smiled.
“I’m sorry sir, but I never thought such a thing. I thought you hated me. That my very presence made you cringe. You tried everything to make sure to stay away. I thought the sound of my voice suffocated your spirit. And I thought my eyes made you feel like I was damning your soul.”
“Because the moment I met you I wanted you. And I want for nothing. I hated myself for it, so naturally I let the emotions go and began to feel nothing towards you. But every now and again I would slip so I had to make sure you’d hate me. But I’d admit I only was damning your soul because in the reflection of your paralyzing eyes I was in turn damning mine.”